Shortly after I graduated from BYU, I moved into a house with some guys I didn’t know. Some of them were welcoming, some were not. But this story isn’t about them at all. They didn’t know what was going on in my life, and I was ok with that. In fact, only one of them knows now. I went to church with them every week. As far as they could tell, I was just another normal Mormon guy, not someone who was still falling.
While I was living there, I met a guy online. He was sweet, Continue reading
Posted in Downward spiral, My Story, The Bumpy Road Back
Tagged cyber-sex, old friend, regret, Turning Point
Most of the time when I would be chatting with men online, a common means of arousal was through story telling. Everyone seemed to be interested in the other person’s first experience with sex. There always seemed to be a draw to the beginning of ones path into homosexuality, as if it was a rite of initiation.
From the guy who was the willing victim of statutory rape at the hands of his high school football coach, to the one who found a random hookup in a park at night, the majority of the stories I heard were not ones of love, or of commitment. Neither was mine. Continue reading
Posted in Downward spiral, My Story
Tagged first time, gay, numb, regret, sex club
