Running the Marathon

I’ve never been a distance runner.  I’ve always been a sprinter, and not a great one at that.  My body is not built to run, and so I’ve never really gotten into that sport.  I’m built for leverage, and for power.  Unfortunately, all of my training has been for short battles after which I could collapse and recuperate.  Wrestling takes a lot of conditioning, but certainly not the kind that I need for my current battle.

My therapist has commented that when one is running a marathon, and trips, one does not start at the beginning, but simply stands up, and continues to run.  This last weekend, I tripped.  I was then trampled by the other runners in the race.  I was left bloodied and broken on the pavement, wishing that I had never even registered for the race, much less shown up and started running.

Relapse Prevention Sheet

The post on my last relapse was one that I didn’t really want to write, but it seemed necessary.  (I don’t like to relapse.)  I was hopeful when I wrote it though.  I really felt that by doing the things in my action plan, that I would be able to stave off further relapses.  So far it has had not only that effect, but has helped me to feel better about myself in general. (This is no small feat, given my unemployment, and accompanying glut of free time.)

There have been a couple of things that have been particularly helpful.  One of them is the Relapse Prevention Sheet. 

Relapse still hurts, but I’m gonna keep going

I relapsed again yesterday.  It hurts a lot. That being said, after wallowing for a while, and then talking with a dear friend, I’ve come to the understanding that I haven’t been doing the things I need to on a daily basis in order to live healthier.